Eat, Pray, Love

I finished reading Eat, Pray, Love:  One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I had seen the movie last year and really enjoyed it, and had a friend highly recommend the book. The book is divided into three sections, Eat (Italy), Pray (India) and Love (Indonesia).  I enjoyed Eat, was rather bored with Pray and was mixed about Love.

Eat, was fun, upbeat, and delicious.  Traveling around Italy and Rome sounded exciting, almost intoxicating. Elizabeth described the food and the people, her experiences in such detail and in such a fashion as it made you feel you were there eating the delicacies as well and hanging out with her friends.  I almost wish this section of the book could have gone on for another 200 pages.  I am truly a sucker for a nice travel essay or travel memoir.

 Now in all fairness, the Pray part did have some rather uplifting stuff and it did give me pause on occasion. The real issue for me about this section was that it seemed a bit, well preachy is not exactly the right word.  It was a bit too ethereal, and yes I suppose it should be as it is talking about the spiritual realm, but it was to much for me.  I am not a really religious person, having checked out of the Catholic Church and organized religion as a whole,  a long time ago and have my own beliefs about "God", good and evil, karma, the after life, etc.

Love, well love is pretty much about learning to love others and to let others love you, but at the same time knowing what kind of love is right for you. This is a game of chance, but if one knows who they are this leads to knowing what you like, and what you want for others and a relationship. Love can me messy sure, loving oneself and others can be hard to do, but not impossible and ca be very rewarding on so many levels.

I am glossing over a lot here, and in no way am doing the book justice, but I will say I enjoyed her writing style and the messages found through out the book.  To me, Eat was about enjoying life, sampling it, and sampling it often.  It is important to let go once in a while and enjoy lifer and all its delights with wild abandon. To do nothing and enjoy it, or as the Italians say,  Il bel far niente (the beauty of doing nothing).  Pray was about getting in touch with your self and learning to appreciate how unique you are and that we each have our own spirituality. One should take time to listen to themselves and be comfortable with oneself, for loving oneself goes a long way to leading a life of contentment and hopefully happiness.

Heer are a few things from the book that I rather enjoyed: 

You were given life, it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight

...the appreciation of pleasure can be an anchor of one's humanity

I love you, I will never leave you, I will always take care of you

The last one, was the one I truly enjoyed.  This was something she wrote in a journal that she kept and would often refer back to when she was depressed and dealing with more than she wanted to or could handle.  It I think is the summation of the book, in a nice simple phrase. Love yourself, respect yourself, help yourself and be there for yourself (the rest will fall into place).

All of this is following with my last post about finding the beautiful in life as well as finding the happy.  Sure, some days I am not looking for beauty and am in no way happy, but this is something to aspire to and to work on or work at.  This book helped clarify a few things and gave me hope, the hope and aspiration to find the beauty within myself and within the world around me. 

Happy days

I have had this song in my head off and on again since I heard it online a while ago.  It is Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again, and is actually to borrow from Wikipedia: "Happy Days", in medley with Judy Garland's "Get Happy" (as originally performed in duo by Barbra Streisand and Judy Garland in the 1960s), was used in the 2010 episode Duets of TV show Glee, performed by actors Lea Michele and Chris Colfer.  Ok I will admit, do I watch Glee no, have I seen the video on YouTube, yes.  Does this mean I am now watching Glee no, I still pretty skip most television.  That aside, I do enjoy the combination of these songs.  When I hear either version, Streisand/Garland or Michele/Colfer, I due feel happier.  This song truly does bring a smile to my face and to my heart.

One talks about getting ready for the "promised land" while the other is a message of happiness.  Both are upbeat in their composition, happy Days of course the most upbeat and happy of the two.  I think the song makes me happy as it reminds me that there is happiness out there, and it is attainable. Granted one is about dying and moving on to the afterlife, but it is something one should be happy about as (well now one has to believe in God and heaven , but we won't address that here) you are going to a good place.

The second song tells you to forget your troubles and be happy. That of course is not always an easy thing, for anybody on any given day, and for me more so lately.  But I think it strikes an optimistic chord, a chord I need to gar a hold of and not let go.  I have stated that the past few weeks or so have been a bit hard, not unmanageable, just some days better than others.  I am working on embracing the many positives in my life and trying to see the happiness that is out there in the world. 

I have been taking more pictures lately, trying to capture that which makes me happy, or is beautiful or pretty to me.  I am reading happy books for now and enjoying the endorphins that my exercise provides.  Being able to find the happiness I know is out there isn't easy sure, but the more I work at it the more I realize that it is out there and out there in spades.  One just has to take the time to see it, to breathe it in, to stop and enjoy. 

I will continue in my pursuit of happiness and do my best to find it and cultivate it over the next few months.  With this song as my soundtrack, I have the motivation to find the happy.

Get Happy/ Happy Days Are Here Again

Forget your troubles, happy days

C'mon get happy are here again

You better chase all your cares away

(The skies above are clear again)

Shout hallelujah, so let's sing a song

C'mon get happy of cheer again

Get ready for the judgment day

(Happy days are here again)

The sun is shining, come on get happy

Shout it now there's no one

The lord is waiting to take your hand

Who can, doubt it now

Shout hallelujah, so let's tell the world

And just get happy about it now

We're going to the promise land

(Happy days are here again)

We're heading cross the river

Soon you case when I'll be gone

There'll be no more from now on

From now on

Forget your troubles

Happy days

And just get happy

Are here again

You better chase all your blues away

(The skies above are clear again)

Shout hallelujah

So let's sing a song

And just get happy of cheer again

Happy times, happy times

Happy nights, happy nights

Happy days are here again

Reflections

Without getting too deep into the topic, the ten year anniversary of 9/11/01 gave me pause, for various reasons and on various levels.  I found myself watching way too many YouTube videos and news stories about anniversary observances, and archival images and footage from the 2001.  Seeing the family members talk about their loved ones and their loss, brought Tim's passing sharply into focus once a again.  The loss of a loved one, no mater the circumstances of their death, is hard and is something one never truly gets over.  Not that getting over it is truly possible, as its not getting over  a loss, but rather is learning to live with the loss, to move forward.  Time may help take some of the edge of of the hurt, but it never heals all wounds.  That is a nice sentiment, that while cliche, does if nothing helps people cope and get through the days, months, years after a loss.

I spent a lot of time this past weekend reflecting on Tim, our time together and his passing.  As I have mentioned in a previous post, this time of year is a time for remembrance. I know that each passing day is getting closer to December 31st, and while some days that really weighs on my mind, other days it promotes happy moments.  I know that each day will bring good, bad and in between moments, moments I will deal with when and as they come.  I am prepared as much as one can be to live with these moments, and all the emotions that go with them 

I do miss his voice, his laugh , his touch.  I do have three voice mail message from November that I was able to copy to my laptop, so I do have his voice, which is a source of comfort. He had a good laugh, a laugh to go with his wit and self depreciating humor.  I wish I had that to listen too again and again, but  sadly I do not.  His touch, well that can't be saved and played back, so I am left with just the visual images of his holding my hand, him lying next to me.  His hands were somewhat rough, but they felt comforting and I could find solace in them. Being able to feel his wedding ring when I held his hand , is something I will always remember and miss terribly. 

This was not quite what I imagined I would be posting but, this what came out.  I don't think I need a topic per sec when I am posting, but lately I really haven't know what to write, or what I wanted to say. I do want this blog to evolve and be become more.  Now what that evolution will entail, I am not sure, but I have a few ideas of times I want to include and add, and see this blog to be about not only my journey through grief but also abut my life and all that that is. 

I guess this blog and my life are open, its like starting over, the pages blank, the future open and unwritten, it only takes that first word to get started......