Things have been rather uneventful as of late. It is pretty much work, Starbucks and shopping at lunch, work out at home or the gym, wasted time on Internet, preparations for the next day and bed by 10:00. I am not complaining, as routine is helpful and well routine, and it offers some form of control. Now do I enjoy when things throw off my routine, no, but I am working on that. Perspective, is what I am trying to apply to things in my life. Will the world come crashing down if I don't get xyz project done at work, or if the apartment isn't clean, no. Will anyone remember that thing I didn't do twenty years from now, most likely that would be no. Perspective helps assign things their proper importance.
Life has certain responsibilities and things that should be done, but really its all about perspective or the big picture. I have realized that the past is the past and unchangeable; the future is unwritten and worrying about something that hasn't happened yet is a pointless. The present is all one has, and they need to live it, ignore it, deal with it or shuffle through it. The present is really the only thing one has control over. I am not a big believer in destiny or luck, although I do think that the notion of karma is worth thinking about.
One should be aware of the past and if possible learn from it, but don't get caught up in dwelling on it or reliving it. remembrance of the past can be nice, wallowing in the past is not so nice. The same is true for the future, in that one can think about the future, maybe even plan some of it, i.e. retirement. Obsessing about the future prevents you from living in the present, wasting the moments you have over moments that you don't yet have.
basically I am trying to learn the importance of things in my life and while not deciding what I want to be when I grow up, it is deciding what I value and what I enjoy and how to enjoy that which I enjoy. I have had in some sense, perspective has slapped me in the face. Death is a huge perspective slap in the face. Not only does it give one pause on their own mortality it also shows that life is short and should be enjoyed a s much as possible. I am not saying I will now be whooping it up, but I will be trying to find that what makes me happy as well as try to be genuinely happy.
Now having said all of that, is it working ? Well there are some that would say that I am not exactly Mr. Happy most days. I think the term crabby has been used a few times. If only those I share the road with could hear me or those in the gym using the treadmills I want or need could read my thoughts. Suffice it to say it would not be pretty or polite. Let me just say that some times I get a bit "uptight", and am far from happy. I again am working on all of this, doing most of it myself or through counseling. I am not expecting an epiphany but do hope to find what makes me happy and try to be someone who is happy.
Well this ended up being way deeper than I imagined when I starting posting. The next one will be less deep and maybe even funny. I should post about meeting David Sedaris and seeing him in concert, a truly upbeat experience. I had no idea that he had such a potty mouth, although if one could describe potty mouth as tasteful then it would apply here. I think I will post the three jokes he shared with the audience. Some hints: A corvette, Monica Lewinsky and plasma donations.
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