Now what..

I thought that maybe I was ready to at least make new friends, gay male friends, specifically someone from Madison.  This way I would have something to do and someone to do things with.    I met some nice people, but for various reasons, it never worked out.  I wasn't asking for a whole lot really, again just someone to hang with, maybe see a movie with, etc, etc... some companionship, that's all.  Well I have taken a step back from this and am working on being happy doing things solo.  I fortunately am one of those people who will go out and dine by themselves or see a movie by themselves.  Would it be nice sometimes to have someone to do this with, sure, but again I don't mind doing it by myself sometimes and if I have to.

Now I at one point thought that hey if I meet someone and it progresses beyond friendship eventually that would be fine.  Now is that to say I am actively seeking a friend that I hope will be more, the answer would be no. I am leaving myself open to anything now, if someone comes along great, if not that's fine too.  Fate can be a fickle mistress..  had i not decided to place that personal add in the Isthmus and if Tim hadn't decided to pick up the isthmus that last week in February, we would never had met.  That is why I am leaving myself open to the possibility of friendships or maybe more. 

I have always had this rather romantic idea that i would meet Mr. Right at a coffee shop or a book store.  I would catch the look of someone in line or in the coffee shop and he (i am too much of a coward to walk up to them - although i am working on that) and we start talking and hit it off right away.  This or I am reading the last store copy of a book that he was interested in..conversation ensues and we live happily ever after.  I have been watching way too many sappy romantic movies or reading one too many sappy romance stories (gay and no-gay).  I may be a hopeless romantic, and while I don't want to totally loose that part f my self, I am also  becoming more of a realist and can see that this really doesn't happen all that often. Besides, and I can totally relate to women on this, men, gay or straight, can be and surprisingly in more numbers than I thought possible, jerks.  Jerk was my polite term, and I will leave it at that for now.  I think in part the term doesn't need any future explanation.

So back to my situation.. I do have someone I have met a few times and we currently meet at Concerts on the Square (with his friend).  This is a Wednesday evening meeting, we all have a few drinks, listen to the concert then go to the Shamrock for a drink as well.  I usually make a night of it, going to eat at the Old Fashioned then meet them for a beer at the Concert.  Not sure how this will continue once the Concerts season is over the first week in August.  For now it is something I look forward to once a week and the company is nice.  This I hope will be an ongoing friendship, but again I cautiously am waiting to see what happens.

Now what was the title of this posting because I am not sure where to go or what to do..  Now if only I had a Rhett to tell me They don't give a dam and that would push me to be strong and be independent ....ok a bit dramatic Scarlett.. anyway I just need to be happy with myself and be happy with doing things solo right now.  The past is past and the future unwritten, so all I have is the here and now and I need to deal with that now.  I have said this before and it really is true.  It is what it is.   You can deal with that truth or choose to ignore it, but ignoring it never works in the end anyway.