This blog was created to express my grief over the loss of my husband Tim. This blog is a place of expression and reflection as I continue to move on and journey through my grief and life in general. This blog will hopefully become more, but for now it is what it is.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The end of a chapter...

Ok one probably shouldn't blog after having had a bottle of wine, but here it goes anyway.  I have been deciding if I should start a new blog or continue this one.  I think I will start a new one, one about my gay little life here in Madison.  Not sure how exciting it may be but who knows maybe I will get some views anyway. 

I will admit, I truly love my Rainbowgrief blog, and am so glad for all the help it gave me in dealing with my grief.  Writing and sharing all the emotions that go with the loss of a loved one is a very therapeutic experience.  I shared my deepest emotions and am the better for it.  Having an outlet for my journey through grief was so very helpful.  But at that I also realize that is truly is time to move on.  I am in a very good place right now, as Tim will forever be a part of me, and the grief of his loss , well that will lessen with time, it will  always be a part of me.  It won't be all consuming as it once was, but again, along with my memories of Tim, will always be a part of me,

I say I am in a good place, and I truly mean that.  I have taken my wedding ring off now and have progressed form "am married" to "was married".  Both the physical gesture of removing the ring and the emotional gesture of changed tenses has allowed me to finally find the light at the end of the tunnel. I have even stopped talking about my grief it in therapy and actually may even stop therapy.  I truly will miss Scott, he was so very helpful and is so very nice.  I hate to move on, yet I realize I need to and must.

I close with this:  I love Tim, will always love Tim, miss him incredibly, and will never forget him.  My heart holds a special place for him for now and always.  I am taking that memory away with me as I close this chapter of my life and move on to the next chapter.

I love you now and forever Timmer.

1 comment:

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